In Which Santana And Brittany Are Sorted
by weaslays
Summary: "Santana?" "Hm?" "What House do you think you'll be Sorted into?" One-shot, Hogwarts-verse. [Santana-centric, but still Brittana.]


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee (unfortunately), neither do I own any of the beautiful characters mentioned in this story. The one-shot idea, however, is mine. I'll probably edit this and fix it up few days after I publish it** **since this may or may not be a huge pile of crap but please still read it I think it might be worth it and I spent a whole night researching for it and writing it.** **Enjoy!**

 **Brittany's POV**

"Santana?"

"Hm?"

"What House do you think you'll be Sorted into?"

11 year-old Santana turns to you and shrugs. "Probably Slytherin. Everybody says it's like I was born to be in it." she tells you, and you crinkle your nose in confusion. "Why would you be born to be put in it? That's weird. I think you were born to be put in any House you want and still be really awesome." you tell her. She smiles serenely, and warmth spreads all throughout your body. "Thank you, Britt-Britt. But what about you?" she asks. "What House do you think you'll be in?"

You shrug. "I don't know. Maybe Hufflepuff? Or Ravenclaw. Or Gryffindor… but not Slytherin. I don't think have the right characters for that." you answer, and she laughs. "Characteristics, Britts." she reminds you, grinning. You ponder this for a moment. "Oh. Right."

The two of you turn back to the Sorting just in time to see a petite brunette sit down at the Gryffindor amidst loud cheers. "Lucy Quinn Fabray!" a man with a "major buttchin" and "greasy, buttered hair" (Santana's words, not yours) bellows, and the plump blonde girl with glasses and pigtails that you were close friends with in Wizarding Preschool and Elementary walks up, places the Hat on her head, and sits down on the chair. The Hat barely touches her head before it yells out "Ravenclaw!" and the blonde blushes slightly before scurrying over to the Ravenclaw table.

"We'll still be best friends, right? Even if we're Sorted into different Houses?" you say suddenly, and Santana turns back to you. "Of course, Britt." she promises, and she uses her free hand (the one that isn't pinky-locked to yours) to boop you on the nose lightly. "We'll be best friends forever." She grins at you, and you grin back, ignoring the fluttery feeling in your stomach. (You've been getting that fluttery feeling since last year, and you have no idea why.)

All too soon, five more people are Sorted, including a cocky mohawked boy named Noah Puckerman (Santana whispers to you how cool she thinks his hair is, and you suddenly feel like getting a mohawk yourself) and a dark-haired Asian girl named Tina Cohen-Chang ("I bet she's a vampire." Santana whispers to you), and then your name's being called.

You stand up, and Santana kisses your pinky before you break the pinky-lock and walk up to the chair. You glance behind you as you make your way to the front, your heart thumping painfully fast and your head sort of dizzy, and you make out Santana from where you left her in the vast crowd of students in the Great Hall. She beams at you and nods encouragingly, and a newfound courage rushes through your body (along with the even faster thumping of your heart now). You sit down on the chair, and Buttchin Man sets the Sorting Hat down on your head. Your breath hitches, and a few seconds pass before the Hat bellows, "Ravenclaw!"

Everybody's quiet for a moment, and your stomach sort of sinks, because you know that you look sort of dumb, what with your blonde hair and head-in-the-clouds attitude, and most of your classmates from Elementary who are here now know you as the girl who's obsessed with unicorns and loves to write with crayons.

You begin to regret telling your mother to put your hair up in braided pigtails that you thought would be cute at the start of the day when a loud "Go, Britt-Britt!" that you know came from Santana suddenly breaks the silence in the Great Hall.

Claps and a few cheers come from the Ravenclaw table, and the Grey Lady nods in approval, but you ignore the noise as you stand up and walk to them, your eyes searching the crowd once again for Santana. When you spot her, she's already looking at you, and she gives you a thumbs up and the brightest grin you've ever seen. She looks ecstatic; you think her face is literally glowing in pride. Your heart swells when you realize that pride's for _you_. "Congrats!" she mouths. You grin widely at her.

"Santana Lopez!" Buttchin Man announces, and Santana glances at him before turning back to you, her eyes full of anxiety and dread instead of the happiness they had just a few seconds before. "You can do it, San!" you yell, and she nods, the corners of her lips twitching upwards. She strides over to the front and sits down, and Buttchin Man places the Sorting Hat on her head.

 **The Sorting Hat's POV**

Ah, Santana Lopez. An interesting one, this girl is. I've never seen one quite like her – why, she's all of this school's Houses in one! But where to place her? Who should she be with for her seven years in this school?

Let's start with the most obvious – the House even she thinks she's going to be Sorted into; Slytherin.

She's a Pureblood, and cunning, manipulative, sly – everything a Slytherin should be.

Cunning, confrontational, and – more often than not – without a sense of fair play. She _will_ cheat if she thinks she can get away with it (and believe me, she can). She's proud of where she comes from – a Pureblood from the shacks in Lima Heights Adjacent, she'll use her heritage and birthplace to threaten and hold power over anyone she can.

Being trusted isn't her #1 prerogative, as Slytherins go; being praised is. Despite her being group-oriented, her loyalty only extends so far – she won't cover for anyone who's better than her or anyone who they think is a threat to her social standing. She's quite cerebral – she doesn't care much for other people, especially those she doesn't know and isn't comfortable with.

(How long have I been thinking for? 4 minutes? Well, I need more time. This girl's a billion mysteries all wrapped up in one package. I need time to Sort her properly – this can't be done quickly.)

 _Wait for a moment_ , I whisper into Santana's ear. _I haven't decided._ She remains as rigid and still as a statue. I continue thinking, occasionally whispering to her as to let her know my train of thought.

Quite the manipulative one, she can twist stories and bend words to control you and get what she wants, and if she'll do anything for fame and a respectable reputation. She cares about her reputation, and sometimes, it even matters more than her achievements. If she feels as though you're even a bit of a threat to her, her goals, and the people she loves, she'll set out to destroy you, and there's little to no chance she won't succeed. This girl can fire off an entire barrage of insults on cue, all of them more insulting and imaginative than the last. She's a clever one – and ambitious, too. She'll do anything to succeed in everything she does and attain her goals. She would be willing to take risks more than a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw certainly would, but, ah, she'd be doing it for her own good rather than the greater good, as a Gryffindor would. This one's going to grow up deadly.

But Slytherins value the past and tradition the most out of the four Houses, and this is where Santana falters. Her family, being of Pureblood descent, certainly value tradition as well as the past, but Santana doesn't care for any of it, especially when it comes to, ah, marriage. Her family – Abuela, especially – want to set her up with another Pureblood boy as soon as possible so as to carry on their heritage, but… how curious. Little Santana seems to be in love. She may not know it yet (she's certainly too young to fully understand), but she's deep, deep, deep – and going deeper everyday – in love with… who's this? Brittany Pierce – her best friend of more than 7 years, and the human equivalent of the sun itself in Santana's eyes. Didn't I just sort this girl into Ravenclaw a few minutes earlier?

Ah, yes. Ravenclaw. Another House for Santana Lopez.

Ravenclaws are defined by their curiosity and love for learning. A Ravenclaw always seeks knowledge; they want to know the _why_ and the _how_ of everything in the world. Santana's very much like this – she hates to be left in the dark, hates not knowing things, and so she seeks knowledge in every way possible; whether it may be reading or gossiping or some other way of learning, she's for it, even if it may involve some risk (which she's always ready for, really). Intelligence, knowledge, and wit are what they specialize in, and she's certainly not short of any of those, especially wit.

(In fact, she may have, say, _too much_ wit for it to be good.)

Ravenclaws are readers – they love books and prize them greatly, as does Santana, although she wouldn't hesitate to deny it and resort to violence if anyone finds out. As much as she loves to read, she values her reputation even more.

She's quite competitive in the academics field – if you insist she can't study everything or tell her you're better than her in a particular subject (woe betide you if you do that), she'll go out of her way to take all the subjects she can and study until the sun goes down. She'll study profusely for a test as soon as she hears of it. A perfectionist, too; give her a mountain of essays to write and books to read, and she'll work to have them finished by the end of the day with all her essays written in perfect penmanship.

Hufflepuff is the most well-known for its tolerance, but Ravenclaw can match it when it comes to people with wild ideas, whereas a Hufflepuff's practicality may cause it to draw the line. However, while those in Hufflepuff tolerate everyone, Ravenclaws have no time for ignorance or stupidity; they _loathe_ ignorance. They're happy to help a person study and learn, but they have zero patience for the close-minded. Santana's very much a Ravenclaw in this aspect – she appreciates wild ideas and imaginative theories (how could she not, when she has a best friend like Ms. Pierce?), and although she would deny it if confronted, she's extremely fond of tutoring people and sharing her knowledge with them. Although won't admit it, she loves to tutor Brittany, especially since the girl has more imagination and open-mindedness than the Muggle author Dr. Seuss. She likes to show the world that she's not just a bundle of sass and insults – she's also extremely smart and diligent once she puts her mind to it.

(10 minutes. Time is ticking away. I must decide soon.)

However, she doesn't fit this House in many ways, as well. Ravenclaws are known to be the most conflict-averse of all of Hogwart's Houses; they avoid conflict whenever possible, and would rather rely on their wits than their wands, thinking of creative strategies to avoid fights wherein Gryffindors would just charge forward. Santana, on the other hand, _would_ review a situation before charging, but she would rely on her mouth to run insults and her hands to inflict physical pain in a fight instead of using a conflict-free way out. Ravenclaws also have a strong sense of fairness in academic situations, and while Santana _does_ have this, she'll also try and think of an easier way to get there, even if it involves cheating. (Although she usually doesn't carry these _easier way_ plans out.)

Now, Hufflepuff. Out of all the Houses, this suits her least, although she still _does_ have some qualities than can be fit for the House of the badgers.

Hufflepuffs are defined by their love for their family, for comfort, and for living things. Except for the latter, Santana loves all of these deeply – she'd protect those she considers her family with her life and go out of their way to show them they're important to her, and she'll do anything to live a life of comfort. Being alone or feeling unloved is something a Hufflepuff hates immensely, and so does Santana. She thrives on being noticed, in knowing she matters and is valued, and being ignored or forgotten is one of her worst fears. (Right up there with Brittany hating her and abandoning her – this is by far on top of her list of fears.)

Santana's Hufflepuff personality clashes greatly with her Slytherin one – while her reputation and achievements matter greatly to her, so do the people she loves. She might forget to care for them sometimes in the midst of achieving her goals and doing what she wants, but more often than not, she puts her family (and Brittany) first, making sure to do whatever she can for them to live a good life.

But that's where her Hufflepuff qualities stop.

Hufflepuffs are highly interested in animals and plants and taking care of them, whereas Santana hates dirt and has a low patience for animals other than Brittany's cat. They enjoy the company of others and are extroverts, and she only enjoys the company of her closest friends. They're deeply practical, they value something that's known already over something that's unknown; they prefer what _is_ to what's _possible_. Santana, on the other hand, has zero to no practicality, and she prefers what's possible and what she _wants_ to be possible over what actually _is_ possible.

And now, the only House left – Gryffindor. 15 minutes now! _Please hurry up, whatever spirit is in this old musty hat_ , Santana thinks. _People are looking at me weirdly, and Buttchin Man's eyebrows have gone so up high they actually might turn into big, hairy birds and fly away._

 _Patience, child_ , I tell her. _If you were the one Sorting yourself, you'd have an equally hard time as I'm having. Stop thinking for a while, it's distracting me._ She huffs, and I continue thinking.

The Gryffindor House is defined by its daring, desire for fame, and its great exploits. They're fiery, defined by a greater glory – they want, _need_ to be remembered for their adventures and what they've accomplished. This certainly isn't lost in Santana, as anyone she's ever talked to would know how much she wants to be famous and successful, and her life definitely isn't lacking in a number of 'great exploits'. Gryffindors are fiery and defined by a desire for glory – everything Santana is.

Gryffindors are also the most likely to leap into something before looking. They're constantly the first to charge into a situation, especially if it's to defend their friends. Santana would attack anyone upon hearing that they've insulted or teased anyone she loves, not considering the consequences, and, much in Gryffindor fashion, her first impulse is always to draw her wand and act.

Although she doesn't have plenty of people she considers friends, Santana likes being around people – another Gryffindor characteristic in her. She enjoys being around her friends, and she loathes being bored – this usually results in her getting into some sort of trouble or fight. A Gryffindor never has to worry about being overlooked – this goes for Santana, as well; once she's been in this school for a year, I have no doubt she'll have built a reputation high enough to never be unnoticed.

Gryffindors care about people, and they seek external validation from others – they're also extremely interested in proving themselves and being 'heroes'. She's careful to not make it known – reputations, reputations – that she cares deeply about her friends, and she tends to be insecure, even though she carries herself around confidently. She constantly doubts herself about everything, from her appearance to her abilities, which is why she works extra hard all the time to make her seem flawless and earn compliments from those around you.

Also like a Gryffindor, Santana's fully willing to bluff, although she does it to threaten instead of just to trick or prank. They dislike things they consider boring or useless to them, and would prefer to seek the unknown rather than treading the usual paths – however, they'd do this for a thirst for adventure rather than intellectual discovery like a Ravenclaw would. Adventure and action are the traits of a true Gryffindor. Santana considers everything useless unless she can use them to her advantage, and she's certainly willing to tread unknown paths, as long as she thinks they'll lead her to fame and success.

But Gryffindors have a willingness to confront the darkness beyond them, and this is where Santana fails – instead of fighting the darkness that she often feels is encasing her, she prefers to hide in it, bury herself deep in it and lash out at anyone who dares enter after her. (The only one she's ever let inside her world of darkness is Brittany, I note. Interesting.)

So – it's time for the final decision. Where should I place this girl? What House will she be most comfortable in, but will still provide a challenge for her in the years to come?

Time is ticking away.

I re-evaluate everything about her – her characteristics, her actions, her life decisions. I skim past her insults and delve into what she _really_ is, underneath her hard shell – and I see nothing but Brittany. The girl would do _anything_ for Brittany Pierce, and most of her life revolves around her experiences with Brittany, protecting her from the cruelty that is the real world, teaching her things, laughing at her antics. Santana would fight for Brittany with her life, and would be lost without her. _Where do you want to go, Santana Lopez?_

 _Everyone says I should be – I'm going to be – in Slytherin. And aren't I?_

 _Everybody says that, but is that what you want?_

She doesn't respond, and after a few more minutes, I decide. I know I've made the right decision.

"Gryffindor!"

 **Brittany's POV**

The entire Great Hall is silent.

A lot of these people have known you and Santana since you were toddlers and went to Wizarding Preschool with them, and everybody knows how Santana is – loud, brash, insulting, snarky – and everybody (and you do mean _everybody_ ) was expecting her to be Sorted into Slytherin. You glance around, and the people around you wear faces of surprise painted all over them. You know what they're thinking – Santana Lopez, a _Gryffindor?_ Isn't she just a bundle of insults, the most deadly 11 year-old you've ever met?

You know better, though. How could you not? For the most part of your life, you've been with Santana, admiring her as she taught you things with the most patience you've ever seen, treated your wounds with care, watched your silly antics with a delighted sparkle in her eyes, and defended you from anyone who was foolish enough to call you stupid. You know her better than anyone else, and you know the silence is making her nervous, making her think that maybe she's not good enough to be in Gryffindor, so do what she did for you and whoop loudly. "Santana!" you scream, and you start cheering and clapping and whooping wildly, and a second passes before the rest of the Great Hall joins in.

A smile settles on Santana's mouth, and she makes her way to the Gryffindor table, her eyes never leaving yours. Once she's sat down, she beams at you and screams a "Thank you" that you hear clearly over the people's noise before blowing you a kiss. You catch it and press it to your heart teasingly, and she throws her head back to laugh. When Buttchin Man takes the Hat and the stool away, she breaks your gaze and turns to the other people at her table and starts chatting with them, laughing and smirking every now and then.

It's going to be a good 7 years.

 **I took some phrases and words from articles on the Houses from all over the Internet for this, and this took me, like, a solid night to write. I feel like such crap right now, and I feel like** _ **this**_ **is such crap, so I apologize – I'll edit this in a few days. I think I was getting repetitive with all the words I was using. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and leave a review or a follow/fave on this if you feel like it! I'm gonna follow this up with a few more one-shots set in the Hogwarts-verse soon ;)**


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